老友记第九季mp3和剧本下载905:The One With Phoebe's Birthday Dinner

The One With Phoebe's Birthday Dinner [Season 9 Episode 5]

SCENE: Central Perk.
Phoebe: Oh hey you guys, I couldn't get a reservation for the night of my birthday, so we have to do dinner Thursday night instead.

Joey: Thursday? But that's Halloween.

Phoebe: So?

Joey: So spooky, that's all.

Ross: So, so, is Mike coming to dinner?

Phoebe: No! It's my first birthday with a boyfriend, and he has to work. Ugh, I get mad at him, but I think it's a little to soon to show my true colors.

Rachel: Pheebs, I would make a reservation for five, because one of us has to stay home and watch Emma. (To Ross) Which one of us should go to dinner?

Phoebe: Oh, Rachel! (As in "Rachel should go!")

Ross: Actually, um, I was thinking maybe both of us could go.

Phoebe: Oh, yay! (Less than enthusiastic.)

Ross: Thanks, I'll put a lot of extra thought into your gift.

Phoebe: Alright, okay, so we can all go now. That's fun. Hey, you know what? We all haven't been together, the six of us, in such a long time.

Monica: What are you talking about? We're all together right now.

Rachel: Um, Mon, Chandler's not here.

Monica: Oh, dear God!

Opening Credits
SCENE: Tulsa, a conference room
Chandler: Good morning everyone, it's nice to see our team together for the first time. Now, before we get started, are there any questions? Yes, Ken is it?

Ken: That's right. Is it true the reason you're here in Tulsa is that you fell asleep in a meeting and took the job without realizing what you were saying yes to?

Chandler: Well, don't believe everything you hear, Ken. But yeah, that's true. Alright, let's get started by taking a look at last quarter's figures. (Claudia, next to Chandler, lights a cigarette.) Ah, Claudia, aren't you supposed to blow smoke up the bosses' ass?

Claudia: I'm sorry. Does the smoke bother you?

Chandler: No, no, no-no-no. I smoked for years, then I quit. Right now, I can't remember why. You're not allowed to smoke in this office. Not right?

Claudia: Yes, in Oklahoma it's legal to smoke in offices with fifteen people or less. Would you like one?

Chandler: Alright, look. I don't smoke anymore. But if the rest of you want to light up, go ahead, it's fine. (Everyone lights up.) So you all smoke then? That's almost rude, that I'm not.

Ken: That's not true. If you don't wanna smoke ...

Chandler: (loud) Ken, please! No, I can't, I can't smoke. If I smoke, my wife would kill me.

Ken: I'm sorry, but isn't your wife back in New York?

Chandler: I always liked you, Ken. (Takes a cig)

SCENE: Moncia and Chandler's.
Knock at door.

Phoebe: (from outside) Trick or treat!

Monica: (opening the door) Hey!

Phoebe: Ooh, and treat it is. (Looks at Monica's exposed cleavage.)

Monica: Hmhmm. (Closes robe)

Phoebe: Wow, so glad I changed. Almost wore my threadbare robe that can't contain my breasts.

Monica: This is not, what I'm wearing. I'm ovulating and Chandler's gonna be home any minute, so I thought we would try before dinner.

Phoebe: Ohh. Oh wait! (Jis) you guys won't be late for my dinner, will you?

Monica: Believe me, Chandler and I have not seen each other in over a week. We'll probably be the first ones there.

Phoebe: 'kay, see you there. Happy humping! (outside, meets Chandler.) Hey...hey! (Sniffs) Oh, wow, somebody smoked out here? Oh my god, don't people know, you're not allowed to smoke in public spaces?

Chandler: Actually, in Oklahoma smoking is legal in all common areas and offices with fewer than fifteen people.

Phoebe: You smoked!

Chandler: No! I just happen to know a lot of trivia about smoking in different states. For example, in Hawaii cigarettes are called leihalalokos.

Phoebe: (Sniffs him) Chandler,