老友记第九季mp3和剧本下载921:The one with the fertility test

The one with the fertility test

[Scene: Central Perk]

Monica: It's so weird, how did Joey end up kissing Charlie last night? I thought you'd end up kissing Charlie.

Ross: Hey, I thought I'd end up kissing Charlie too ok? But SURPRISE!

Chandler: I missed most of the party (pause) Charlie's a girl, right?

Ross: Yes, she is this new professor of my department that I did not kiss.

Rachel: I don't know why Joey had to kiss her! I mean, of all the girls at the party, GOD!

Ross: Why do you care so much?

Monica: Yes Rachel, why do you care so much?

Rachel: (worried) Be-cause Ross is the father of my child! You know... and I... want him to hook up with lots of women! (pause) I just... All I'm saying is... I don't think that Joey and Charlie have anything in common.

Ross: Oh, I don't know, they seem to have a shared interest in each other's tonsils...

Phoebe: Wow, Joey and a professor! Can you imagine if they had kids and if the kids got her intelligence and Joey's raw sexual magnetism... Oh, those nerds will get laaaaaid!

Rachel: All right, so... Ross, you're ok with all this? I mean...

Ross: Yeah, it's no big deal. I mean, I just met her and I'm fine with it...

(Joey and Charlie enter. Ross looks at her)

Ross: Oh, God. I forgot how hot she was!

Joey: Hey!

All: Hi!

Ross: I'm gonna get some more coffee.

Charlie: Oh, you know what? I'll come with you!

Ross: Ok. (they both go)

Chandler: (to Joey) So, a professor, uh?

Joey: Yeah! She is cool, and she's so smart! Her mind is totally acrimonious (which, being Joey, he mispronounces "amonious"). (pause) That's not how she used it...?

Charlie: (talking to Ross) I feel like I owe you an explanation. I don't ordinarily go around kissing guys at parties. I'm... well, I'm kind of embarrassed. I really hope you don't think less of me.

Ross: Uhm no! Think less of you! No, I don't think less of you. I mean, you saw someone you liked and you kissed them. I mean, those people who like someone and don't kiss them... those-those people are stupid, I hate those people.

Charlie: You know, actually I'm a little surprised to myself. I mean, Joey is so different from the guys I usually date. I mean, they're all professors, and intellectuals, and paleontologists mostly, you know, very cerebral...

Ross: Yeah, I know the type.

Joey: Hey, if you wanna grab a bite before work we'd better get acrimonious. No? Am I getting close?

Opening credits

[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment]

Phoebe: (entering) Hey!

Monica: Hey!

Phoebe: Hey you guys! Look what I just got. (she shows them a pair of slippers)

Rachel: Oh, OH! Wow, I love those! Where did you get them?

Phoebe: I bought them off Ebay! They used to belong to the late Shania Twain.

Rachel: (after a pause) Phoebe, Shania Twain is still alive!

Phoebe: Oh... then I overpaid. (she goes to the bathroom)

Monica: Hey, what's this?

Rachel: Oh, it's a gift certificate to this new SPA in SOHO.

Monica: Oh, you can't show Phoebe this! She hates those corporate massage chains.

Rachel: Ah, why, now I can't get a massage? There are so many things that she disapproves of! I can't eat veal, I can't wear fur, I can't go hunting...

Monica: Do you wanna go hunting?

Rachel: Well, I would like to have the option!!

Phoebe: (coming back fr