我愿为君生，一生只为你

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

那天晚上当我回到家时，我妻子端着晚餐，我握住她的手说:“我有件事要告诉你。”她坐下来，静静地吃着。我又一次看到了她眼中的伤痛。突然我不知道怎么开口了。但我得让她知道我在想什么。我想要离婚。我冷静地提出了这个问题。

She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead, she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

她似乎没被我的话惹恼，她温柔地问我，为什么?我回避了她的问题。这使她很生气。她扔掉筷子对我喊道:“你不是男人!”那天晚上，我们没有交谈。她默默地哭泣。我知道她想知道我们的婚姻到底怎么了。但我很难给她一个满意的回答;我爱上了简，我不再爱她了。我只是同情她!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake in my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally, she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me, her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

带着深深的罪恶感，我起草了一份离婚协议，声明她可以拥有我们的房子，我们的车，以及我公司30%的股份。她看了一眼，然后把它撕成碎片。那个和我一起生活了十年的女人已经变成了陌生人。我为她浪费了时间、资源和精力感到内疚，但我无法收回我说过的话，因为我深爱着简。最后，她在我面前大声地哭了起来，这正是我所期待的。对我来说，她的哭泣实际上是一种释放。几个星期来一直困扰着我的离婚的想法现在看来越来越坚定和清晰了。

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

第二天，我很晚才回家，发现她在桌子上写东西。我没吃晚饭，就直接上床了，很快就睡着了，因为我和简度过了忙碌的一天，累极了。当我醒来时，她还在桌子旁写作。我只是不在乎，所以我翻了个身，又睡着了。

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions. She didn’t want anything from me but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month, we both try to live as normal a life as possible. Her reason for this conditions was simple. Our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

早晨，她提出了离婚的条件。她不想从我这里得到任何东西，但离婚前需要提前一个月通知我。她要求在那一个月里，我们都尽量过正常的生活。她这样做的原因很简单。我们的儿子一个月后就要考试了，她不想因为我们的婚姻破裂而打扰他。

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that everyday for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

这使我很高兴。但她还有更多的东西，她让我回忆起我们结婚那天我是如何把她带进新房的。她要求我每天早上把她从卧室带到前门。我以为她疯了。为了让我们在一起度过最后的日子，我接受了她的古怪请求。

I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

我告诉简我妻子的离婚条件。她大声笑着，觉得这很荒唐。不管她用什么花招，她都得面对离婚，她轻蔑地说。

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

自从我的离婚意愿明确表达后，我和妻子就没有任何身体接触。所以当我第一天带她出去时，我们都显得笨拙。我们的儿子在我们身后拍手，爸爸抱着妈妈。他的话使我感到痛苦。从卧室到客厅，再到门口，我抱着她走了十多米。她闭上眼睛，轻声说;不要告诉我们的儿子关于离婚的事。我点了点头，心里有点不安。我把她放在门外。她去等公共汽车去上班。我一个人开车去办公室。

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young anymore. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

第二天，我们俩都表现得轻松多了。她靠在我的胸前。我能闻到她衬衫的香味。我意识到我已经很长时间没有仔细看这个女人了。我意识到她不再年轻了。她的脸上有细小的皱纹，她的头发是灰色的!我们的婚姻对她产生了很深影响。有一分钟我在想我对她做了什么。

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

第四天，当我抱起她时，我感到一种亲密感又回来了。这就是那个把生命中的十年奉献给我的女人。在第五和第六天，我意识到我们的亲密感再次增长。我没有告诉简这件事。一个月过去了，抱着她就容易多了。也许每天的锻炼让我更强壮。

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me. She had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

一天早上，她在挑选穿什么。她试穿了不少衣服，但找不到合适的。然后她叹了口气，我所有的衣服都变大了。我突然意识到她长得太瘦了，这就是为什么我能更轻松地抱着她的原因。突然它击中了我。她把那么多的痛苦和煎熬埋在心里。我下意识地伸出手去摸她的头。

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last-minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, it was just like our wedding day.

这时，我们的儿子走了进来，他说:“爸爸，是时候带妈妈出去了。”对他来说，看着父亲带着母亲出门已经成为他生活中不可或缺的一部分。我的妻子向我们的儿子做了个手势，让他走近些，紧紧地拥抱他。我转过脸去，因为我害怕在最后一刻改变主意。然后我把她抱在怀里，从卧室，穿过客厅，走到走廊。她的手轻轻自然地搂着我的脖子。我紧紧地抱着她的身体，就像我们的婚礼一样。

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to the office and jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind. I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

但她体重轻得多，让我很伤心。最后一天，当我把她抱在怀里时，我几乎一步也挪不动。我们的儿子去上学了。我紧紧地抱着她说，我没有注意到我们的生活缺乏亲密。我开车到办公室，飞快地从车里跳了出来，没有锁门。我担心任何耽搁都会使我改变主意。我走上楼。简打开门，我对她说:“对不起，简，我不想离婚了。”

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death does us apart.

她惊讶地看着我，然后摸了摸我的额头。你发烧吗?她说。我把她的手从我头上挪开。对不起，简，我说，我不会离婚。我的婚姻生活很无聊，可能是因为我们不重视生活的细节，而不是因为我们不再相爱。现在我意识到，自从我在结婚那天把她带进我家，我就应该抱着她直到死亡把我们分开。

Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, “I’ll carry you out every morning until death does us apart”.

简好像突然醒了。她狠狠地打了我一巴掌，然后砰的一声关上门，哭了起来。我走下楼，开车走了。在路上的花店，我为我的妻子订了一束花。女售货员问我在卡片上写什么。我微笑着写道:“我每天早上都会带你出去，直到死亡将我们分开。”

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run upstairs, only to find my wife in the bed – dead.

那天晚上我回到家，手里捧着花，脸上挂着微笑，我跑上楼，却发现我的妻子躺在床上死了。

My wife had been fighting cancer for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce. At least, in the eyes of our son— I’m a loving husband.

我的妻子已经和癌症斗争了好几个月了，我忙得与简约会都没注意到。她知道她很快就要死了，为了怕离婚影响我在孩子心中的形象，她才选择这么做。至少，在我们儿子的眼中，我是一个有爱心的丈夫。

Moral: The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. And have a real happy marriage.

寓意:生活中的小细节是双方关系中真正重要的东西。它不是大厦、汽车、财产、银行里的钱。这些物质只是创造了一个有利于幸福的环境，但却不能给自己带来幸福。所以找时间多陪陪你的另一半，为彼此做些小事来建立亲密关系，这样才能有一个真正幸福的婚姻。